just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize