Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
