he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize