Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
