I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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