After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
