About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
