This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
