just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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