You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
