i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize