I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
