i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
