oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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