carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
