Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
