I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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