he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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