I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Dear god my vagina.
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