dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
