I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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