it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
