I'm jealous of your bromance
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
