I wish I could punch you in the face.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
