he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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