Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
