i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
