So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
