Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and she was petting her beer can
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
