i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
