is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
