if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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