Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
