She said her name was "party"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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