if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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