So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I am mentally ready for anal.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
