Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
