if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
