Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
