Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize