I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize