Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
