I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You are the jesus of drinking
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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