We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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