they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
