According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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