I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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