Your mouth is God's brothel.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
