my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
