i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
