dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
This is not my ceiling
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
