Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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