found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
