he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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