Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
