I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i dont even know how to be here
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
