summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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