At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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