Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize