Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
