I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wish i was in the wii world.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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