Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
