What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
