but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
